A New Symbol

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r. ‘Cantabrigiensis’

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Another Big Day

Yesterday was my birthday… one of those round numbers that can sound scary (think “half-century“) and although my life is good, it did give me pause. I was told it was a “milestone” and to “party like I’m twenty-one” … not sure I can safely do that. And is a milestone anything like a kidney stone- ’cause I’ve had one of those!

But last night I decided I’ve been looking at this whole b-day the wrong way. If you think about it, our first birthday is the day we finish our first complete year here and begin our second…. so about 4:25pm on Friday I finished my fiftieth year.

I survived it reasonably well…
healthy (sort of)
employed
roof over my head (and a fairly new one)
food in my belly (too much I guess)
happy (often)
I love and am loved…

So I count my blessings and say “thank you“.

Candlelight

Thursday afternoon I spent lunchtime visiting old friends at The Shelter (Cat Welfare)… most everyone looking good. Gemini was asleep in a bed under a table; of course he woke up as soon as I sat down beside him. He came out, happy to see me- looking for the attention he knows he’ll get.

He continues to lose weight- I sometimes think he doesn’t eat if I don’t show up. His eyes are as bright as ever, but his face is very red around the eyes. In fact he looks the worst I’ve seen him since he was let back into the main room from Iso. I know that he was in bad shape- I am the one that found him after he hid away (suspected stroke or similar). His head has lost most of the tilt, but he is slowly going ‘down hill’.

As I sit there with him in my lap, I flash back to sitting in Casey House (aids hospice in Toronto) with Lucas. So young, so sweet- so horrible to lose yet another friend. One of the reasons I decided to leave Toronto was to get away from the constant reminders. The places that haunt. Now when we go back every summer I can actually walk along the permanent aids memorial downtown and not lose it. At least, not physically. This year we skipped the annual Thursday night Candlelight Vigil. I still miss all those people- realize there is still so much that needs to be done- but I just couldn’t face it.

I get myself together, say ’see you Sunday’ to Gemini and get back into the ‘real’ world.

Yesterday evening we drove out to Johnstown OH (about 35 minute trip) to walk in the Relay For Life with one of my co-workers. She has recently joined the ever-growing group of Cancer Survivors. It was so good to help her celebrate her victory (is that the right word? success? luck? hard work?).

Sad to say I was also walking for a former co-worker (still a survivor, but moved out of state) as well as customers, friends and acquaintances. I had intended to stay until dusk to mark the Luminary Lap (candlelight for those who have crossed over) - but I just couldn’t face it.

I don’t know if this aversion to candlelight events is permanent…. I hope not.

Pride 2008 in Toronto

We get back to Toronto each summer for at least some of the Pride festivities…. the full Pride is something like ten days- and longer if you take in the “Queer West Queen West” counter-celebration that is less mainstream, less commercial, more queer arts. Here is just one of the million plus people that marched in, or stood and watched, the 2008 Pride Parade.

The latest set of initials has grown to something like LGBTTQQ2IT - I can figure out Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transexual, Transgendered, Queer and Questioning…..not sure about the last bit. In Toronto (where same-sex marriage is legal) this is a huge community celebration of diversity and joy. New this year; active members of the Canadian Armed Forces marched. For the past few years the Mayor of Toronto as well as many other politicians have joined in the march as well as having a tent at the Street Fair Saturday and Sunday.

As someone who lived through the Toronto Bath-house Raids of 1981, it is quite something to see representatives from a number of local police departments. Last year I saw Toronto’s Chief of Police in the Parade… not sure if he missed this year, or if I missed him as I tried to enjoy the parade and the audience while taking over 300 pics.